The Laird and the Puddock

The Laird* and the Puddock**

This story goes back to a time when magic was still common place ( real magic that is not the card trick kind of magic) and when witches (not the kind with pointy hats and broomsticks, the kind with green cloaks and wild hair) were not just found in stories but in everyday life. These witches were in tune with nature and would use berries, bones and burdock to make potions to help all living things. 

At this time there was a young laird called Hamish. Hamish had inherited a very large estate and with it the responsibility of looking after many crofters and lots of creatures, large and small. The laird's parents had tried to teach him to be kind and caring and to understand the land belonged to the people and animals living on it as much as it did to him. However, when Hamish became a teenager he became selfish and unkind and this attitude stayed with him as he entered his 20th year and became the laird. His days would be spent hunting the animals on the estate and he would take aim at any creature that moved. The laird's favourite past time was sitting by the large pond at the edge of the estate and, using his old pea shooter he had since he was a boy, he would shoot at the puddocks , toads and newts that were abundant in the pond. He spent no money on the cottages that the crofters lived in and the roofs were leaking and the walls damp and the wind howled in the windows. Meanwhile, the laird would sit in his castle with a fire blazing in every room and warm rugs on every floor. 

One night the laird was warming himself against the fire, listening to the wind and rain outside when there was a knock at the big wooden front door. The laird sent his servant to answer it and the servant came back to announce that a very wet and cold lady was standing at the door. He stated she only had a green cloak protecting her other clothes from the elements and she wondered if  the owner would be so kind to allow her some warmth for the night. "How dare she!" exclaimed the laird "does she not realise I am the laird and share my house with no one? Send her away!" Reluctantly, and a little scared, the servant went back to pass on the laird's message and the laird never gave a thought as to who or what he had sent out into the cold night. 

A few weeks later the laird was down at the pond with his pea shooter and he took aim at a puddock sitting among the rushes. "Ouch!" said a voice as he fired a pea. "Please don't do that". "Who said that ?" asked the laird looking around. "I did". The laird looked at the puddock and gasped. This wasn't any ordinary puddock, this was a long legged, long eyelashed, talking puddock! The laird reached out and grabbed the puddock with both hands. "I know what you are" he said " you are a princess turned into a frog by a witch. If I kiss you, the story goes, you will turn back into a princess, I will marry you and I will run your land as well as my own!" The puddock neither agreed or disagreed and the laird reached down and kissed it! mmmmmmmwah!

Well, what do you think happened next?...............There wasn't a flash, or even a wee bang,in fact there didn't appear to be anything happening! The laird cautiously opened his eyes and the puddock was still there staring back at him. Except.......it seemed much bigger than it had before. The laird went to speak and instead of a word a croaky noise gargled from his throat. He jumped back in fright and quite literally shot into the air. When he landed the laird examined his hands and feet and discovered they were green! He was a puddock! "Well that wasn't the most pleasant kiss I have ever had" said the puddock "but needs must! Now welcome to our pond your lairdship" For a minute all the laird could do was to sit and stare with his huge puddock eyes. Then he found his voice and stated "Our pond? I think you will find it's MY pond, it's on MY land". "Not quite learnt the moral of the story yet have you? Now please follow me, unless you wish to remain in your present state that is". The laird had no choice but to follow and together they dived into the murky waters of the pond. 

Once in the pond the laird discovered how effective his long hind legs and webbed toes were at assisting him in swimming. He had never really been comfortable in the water and this was a new experience for him. Suddenly, he swam into something jelly-like. "Yuck!" said the laird "Frog spawn". "Actually" said the puddock "it's toad spawn, it's in a long line. If it were frog spawn it would be in a big mass, like over there."

The laird looked to where she was indicating and sure enough there was a mass of thousands of eggs with dark specks in the middle. "That's disgusting" said the laird "and look how many there are, the pond is going to be overrun with frogs!" The puddock replied "actually, there may be thousands of eggs but out of all those only around five will become adult frogs!" The laird was slightly taken aback by this and without thinking he asked " what happens to the others?"  The puddock replied "Well, some are eaten by newts, some are eaten by other tadpoles and some just die. Of course, even when they reach adulthood they are not safe. They could be eaten by birds, or, hit by some uncaring laird who doesn't stop to think what harm he is doing!" The laird said nothing. Just then something swam past him. "A lizard?" he questioned out loud. "No" said the puddock "surely you've seen, or should I say aimed at, a newt before?" The laird could feel embarrassment welling up inside him and he snapped. "Of course I know what a newt is, I am hardly in a position to be thinking straight am I?" "Fine, then you will know that newts are amphibians just like we are, and that newt that swam past us is a male newt as he had a wavy crest. You will also know he is a smooth newt whose numbers are declining due to loss of breeding sites and unthinking lairds!" The laird was beginning to see where this was going. He was also starting to feel the need for air and kicked  out with his long back legs to push himself to the surface .

Once at the surface the laird breathed in cool, refreshing air. He then spied a fly and, instinctively, reached out with his tongue, caught it and ate it before he realised what he was doing. The laird climbed onto the mud at the edge of the pond and looked round for the puddock, there was no sign of her. Suddenly, a long beak reached down toward him, opened up and went to grab the laird who had frozen in fright. Just as the laird was about to become dinner for a heron he was pulled into the water. Spluttering he turned to see who had saved him and saw the bulky, warty body of a toad swimming away. "Thank you for saving my life" he called after the toad. The toad looked round. " I know who you are" he said " you've aimed at me a few times, got my eye the last time.I felt like leaving you to your fate but I couldn't. Everyone deserves a second chance. Also, as a frog you're a close relation. In fact in some countries they wouldn't even distinguish us from one another!" The toad then swam away, but not before the laird had seen his empty eye socket. 

Just as he was wondering how long he would remain a frog for and starting to recall all that his parents had taught him about being kind and caring, the laird felt a tingle in his body. Then, he suddenly found himself standing knee deep in the middle of the pond. "Welcome back" said a familiar voice behind him. The laird turned and saw a woman with a green cloak and wild hair. "My spell only lasts a short time" she said "but I hope it is enough for you to see that every creature is important and is worthy of your respect. I also hope that the next time a stranger comes to your door you won't be as hasty in turning them away!" With that she disappeared. A wet, cold but much more humble laird made his way back to the castle. 

Those around the laird were surprised by the change in him. He was kind and caring, ensured the crofter's homes were made warm and cosy and never again hunted any creatures, big or small. He also never kissed another puddock as life isn't always like a fairytale! He was still partial to the odd fly though! 

The End

* A Scottish landowner

** A frog

(just in case you were a bit puzzled!)