Letting Nature take its Course

Someone recently told me that her 27 year old son had out of the blue informed her that he really appreciated all the things they had done together when he was a child such as going outdoors and visiting museums. He went on to say that he had assumed these activities were part of everyone’s family life and it is only in recent years he has discovered not everyone did have the privileges he and his sister had. This had really struck home when a friend had admitted to him she had only recently discovered dinosaurs were once alive and not just constructs of the film industry.

The privileges he referred to did not involve an excess of material things and money. They were simple privileges like having the freedom to run outside in the fresh air, to learn about the wildlife and plants that shared the outdoors, to explore without being on a tight rein and to visit interesting places that enhanced learning about the natural world past and present.  There is no doubt these experiences were enjoyed at the time, but the real appreciation of how important they were in the development of self did not come until many years later.

Months after this conversation we had a rescued hedgehog staying with us for a holiday and in conversation with a different person I stated that I really hoped my two children would always appreciate how privileged they were to have had such close contact with a wild animal. The person I was talking to shook his head and said “Nah they won’t!”

I will admit here and now that as I write this my two are sitting together in the living room watching CBEEBIES. However, it is the first time they have had the television on in three days as we do limit their screen time. The rest of the week has involved carrying out a pond project, planting bulbs, numerous walks with Ben dog and bat watching. At the weekend we visited a country park where we learned about different trees, found a frog and played in the play park. This is typical of our week days and weekends and as a family we do a wide variety of activities, with the scales leaning more towards nature based entertainment. When I reflect on who plans the activities I have to admit it is usually me. I like to form ideas in my head and I like to be organised so no precious time is wasted. On saying that I will usually offer a choice; woods or beach? Country park or the glens? Turn left at the end of the drive or right? What should our project be on? My husband likes being outdoors and is happy to follow my lead, only complaining now and again that his weekends are never restful! Our children also seem to enjoy being outside and learning about nature but I admit at times they do seem to take things for granted. This occasional apathy and the above conversations are why, I suppose, I am sitting here just now writing my thoughts down.

As I mentioned we recently had a hedgehog staying with us. She was rescued two years ago and was too young to hibernate so was cared for by friends over the winter. In the spring attempts to release her were unsuccessful as she would just throw herself onto her back so her soft, vulnerable tummy was exposed for any quick witted predator to take advantage of. As a result she still lives with her rescuers and we look after her at holidays. On Hedgie’s (friends choice of name is not very original) first stay over both son and daughter were excited to have her around. Subsequent visits did not elicit the same enthusiasm and close contact with this essentially wild animal is now treated in the same manner as looking after Ben dog, the cat or our two hens and cockerel.

When Hedgie is residing with us she does her bit for hedgehog conservation and has visited my daughter’s primary two class and my son’s nursery class. On these visits I have first found out what the children know about hedgehogs then I have told them Hedgie’s story before introducing the star herself. As Hedgie has a wee wander around I tell the children more about hedgehogs and they have the opportunity to ask questions that I am hopefully able to answer sufficiently! On these visits I have observed my own childrens’ reaction to having Hedgie introduced to their friends. I have noted wee smiles on seeing how excited their peers are to meet a real hedgehog and pride at being asked by their teachers a question about their unusual house guest. Once home, the opportunity to feed and water her is met with a ‘if I have to’ attitude.

“So, beach or woods?”  That is usually the question of the weekend, or a variation of it anyway. Following a wee sibling disagreement for the sake of disagreeing a decision is usually made and off we all set with Ben dog sitting a bit too snug in the boot of our tiny car. Sometimes on the way to our chosen destination there is some grumbling about how far it is (anywhere is too far for a four year old who doesn’t like being confined to a car seat) and complaints about being too tired to walk. Husband and I exchange looks that say “this is going to be fun!” Inevitably we get there, children and Ben dog are released and off they go. Our daughter will always be right off on her own, head down, looking for treasures in the form of stones, shells, cones, beasties, egg cases etc. Our son likes to stick closer to us until water is spotted. This water could be in the form of a puddle, a burn, the sea or a loch but as soon as he spots it he heads towards it and if possible and safe will often end up in it! Ben dog, in the meantime, will be frantically running around trying to ensure we are all within close proximity to each other as is the nature of the Border Collie.

Unless it’s very cold or somebody has become too wet for comfort it is usually myself or my husband that announces it’s time to return home. Nobody protests too much and nobody enthuses about how much fun they have had, instead they make their way back to the car, fall into their seats and usually have a wee snooze on the way home. Once home the question about what’s for dinner normally arises and permission is asked for them to play on the computer or watch telly for a bit. A few weeks later work folders are sent home from the school and daughter’s teacher has commented that her weekend news is always a joy to read as we do such interesting things. The teacher also mentions that she did not know what a murmuration was until our daughter wrote about going to a local reserve to watch a starling murmuration. She later told us at parent’s night her husband was a bit smug when she got home and asked him if he knew and he did!

We are lucky to have around fourteen species of birds visit our garden including two Great Spotted Woodpeckers, yellow hammers and, in the last week, goldfinch. We take part in the RSPB’s Garden bird watch every year and if the woodpecker has not visited for a while and suddenly appears, or a new bird visits such as the goldfinch someone will point it out. I think it is fair to say that I spend the most time out of everyone watching the birds and my husband would come next. In fact I am writing this sitting at the bedroom window so I can watch the birds at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if our son and daughter appreciate this wildlife that we have on our doorstep as they don’t initiate filling the feeder and won’t sit down to observe the birds unless prompted to do so by one of us. I worry we are not making enough effort to develop their interest in and knowledge of these beautiful birds that live in such close proximity to us and now expect that we will help provide them with food, water and safe shelter.

The other day I was at one end of the kitchen and my son was at the table eating a snack when he suddenly shouted me over. I went over and asked what it was he wanted fully expecting it would be another satsuma as he eats them like sweeties at the moment. What he actually wanted was to show me a house sparrow that was perched on the feeder outside the window. I praised him for his  good observation skills and we watched it until it flew away, whereupon he decided another satsuma might be quite a good idea!

What am I trying to establish from these reflections/musings?  To be honest I am not entirely sure myself. At times I worry overexposure to the above activities will result in our son and daughter reaching a saturation point whereby they no longer want to inhale the great outdoors, observe the wildlife or search for natural treasures, too much of a good thing as they say. At other times I become concerned we are not doing enough to nurture the seed inside them that will grow and flower into a life-long passion and understanding of the natural world. As parents we cannot dictate to our children what they will be as adults but we can’t help having hopes for them. One of my hopes is that both our son and daughter will always take pleasure from the world around them and, more importantly, will always care and advocate for the other animals and plants that share this fragile earth with us. Are we raising them in a way that will give them ample opportunity to do this?

Going back to the conversations that began this piece of writing, the woman whose son thanked her for his nature based childhood works for a wildlife organisation and as a result her children had more exposure than most to the outdoors. There was probably a period in between where other teenage pursuits took precedence, but  twenty years on the importance of these early experiences has been appreciated and acknowledged. The “Nah they won’t” person is a cynical social worker worn down by the strains of an often demanding and unappreciated job (I can say this with little irony being one myself). However, he is also Hedgie’s rescuer and someone who takes great joy in all animals, so underneath that cynicism is someone who does understand the importance of having a connection with nature and helping it along when required. Two different experiences of life but the same conclusions reached.

My conclusion? All these things we do as a family we do because we enjoy them, and while our son and daughter still want to enjoy them with us I am going to grab every opportunity I can to find that special shell, spot a hiding squirrel, wade into the freezing North Sea and care for the wildlife that crosses our path. As for how these experiences will shape who our children will become, I guess I will just have to sit back and let nature take its course.