Someone recently told me that her 27 year old son had out of
the blue informed her that he really appreciated all the things they had done
together when he was a child such as going outdoors and visiting museums. He
went on to say that he had assumed these activities were part of everyone’s
family life and it is only in recent years he has discovered not everyone did
have the privileges he and his sister had. This had really struck home when a
friend had admitted to him she had only recently discovered dinosaurs were once
alive and not just constructs of the film industry.
The privileges he referred to did not involve an excess of
material things and money. They were simple privileges like having the freedom
to run outside in the fresh air, to learn about the wildlife and plants that
shared the outdoors, to explore without being on a tight rein and to visit
interesting places that enhanced learning about the natural world past and
present. There is no doubt these
experiences were enjoyed at the time, but the real appreciation of how
important they were in the development of self did not come until many years
later.
Months after this conversation we had a rescued hedgehog
staying with us for a holiday and in conversation with a different person I
stated that I really hoped my two children would always appreciate how
privileged they were to have had such close contact with a wild animal. The
person I was talking to shook his head and said “Nah they won’t!”
I will admit here and now that as I write this my two are
sitting together in the living room watching CBEEBIES. However, it is the first
time they have had the television on in three days as we do limit their screen
time. The rest of the week has involved carrying out a pond project, planting
bulbs, numerous walks with Ben dog and bat watching. At the weekend we visited
a country park where we learned about different trees, found a frog and played
in the play park. This is typical of our week days and weekends and as a family
we do a wide variety of activities, with the scales leaning more towards nature
based entertainment. When I reflect on who plans the activities I have to admit
it is usually me. I like to form ideas in my head and I like to be organised so
no precious time is wasted. On saying that I will usually offer a choice; woods
or beach? Country park or the glens? Turn left at the end of the drive or
right? What should our project be on? My husband likes being outdoors and is
happy to follow my lead, only complaining now and again that his weekends are
never restful! Our children also seem to enjoy being outside and learning about
nature but I admit at times they do seem to take things for granted. This
occasional apathy and the above conversations are why, I suppose, I am sitting
here just now writing my thoughts down.
As I mentioned we recently had a hedgehog staying with us.
She was rescued two years ago and was too young to hibernate so was cared for
by friends over the winter. In the spring attempts to release her were
unsuccessful as she would just throw herself onto her back so her soft,
vulnerable tummy was exposed for any quick witted predator to take advantage
of. As a result she still lives with her rescuers and we look after her at holidays.
On Hedgie’s (friends choice of name is not very original) first stay over both
son and daughter were excited to have her around. Subsequent visits did not elicit
the same enthusiasm and close contact with this essentially wild animal is now
treated in the same manner as looking after Ben dog, the cat or our two hens
and cockerel.
When Hedgie is residing with us she does her bit for
hedgehog conservation and has visited my daughter’s primary two class and my
son’s nursery class. On these visits I have first found out what the children
know about hedgehogs then I have told them Hedgie’s story before introducing
the star herself. As Hedgie has a wee wander around I tell the children more
about hedgehogs and they have the opportunity to ask questions that I am
hopefully able to answer sufficiently! On these visits I have observed my own
childrens’ reaction to having Hedgie introduced to their friends. I have noted
wee smiles on seeing how excited their peers are to meet a real hedgehog and
pride at being asked by their teachers a question about their unusual house
guest. Once home, the opportunity to feed and water her is met with a ‘if I
have to’ attitude.
“So, beach or woods?”
That is usually the question of the weekend, or a variation of it
anyway. Following a wee sibling disagreement for the sake of disagreeing a
decision is usually made and off we all set with Ben dog sitting a bit too snug
in the boot of our tiny car. Sometimes on the way to our chosen destination
there is some grumbling about how far it is (anywhere is too far for a four
year old who doesn’t like being confined to a car seat) and complaints about
being too tired to walk. Husband and I exchange looks that say “this is going
to be fun!” Inevitably we get there, children and Ben dog are released and off
they go. Our daughter will always be right off on her own, head down, looking
for treasures in the form of stones, shells, cones, beasties, egg cases etc.
Our son likes to stick closer to us until water is spotted. This water could be
in the form of a puddle, a burn, the sea or a loch but as soon as he spots it
he heads towards it and if possible and safe will often end up in it! Ben dog,
in the meantime, will be frantically running around trying to ensure we are all
within close proximity to each other as is the nature of the Border Collie.
Unless it’s very cold or somebody has become too wet for
comfort it is usually myself or my husband that announces it’s time to return
home. Nobody protests too much and nobody enthuses about how much fun they have
had, instead they make their way back to the car, fall into their seats and
usually have a wee snooze on the way home. Once home the question about what’s
for dinner normally arises and permission is asked for them to play on the computer
or watch telly for a bit. A few weeks later work folders are sent home from the
school and daughter’s teacher has commented that her weekend news is always a
joy to read as we do such interesting things. The teacher also mentions that
she did not know what a murmuration was until our daughter wrote about going to
a local reserve to watch a starling murmuration. She later told us at parent’s
night her husband was a bit smug when she got home and asked him if he knew and
he did!
We are lucky to have around fourteen species of birds visit
our garden including two Great Spotted Woodpeckers, yellow hammers and, in the
last week, goldfinch. We take part in the RSPB’s Garden bird watch every year
and if the woodpecker has not visited for a while and suddenly appears, or a
new bird visits such as the goldfinch someone will point it out. I think it is
fair to say that I spend the most time out of everyone watching the birds and
my husband would come next. In fact I am writing this sitting at the bedroom
window so I can watch the birds at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if our son
and daughter appreciate this wildlife that we have on our doorstep as they
don’t initiate filling the feeder and won’t sit down to observe the birds
unless prompted to do so by one of us. I worry we are not making enough effort
to develop their interest in and knowledge of these beautiful birds that live
in such close proximity to us and now expect that we will help provide them
with food, water and safe shelter.
The other day I was at one end of the kitchen and my son was
at the table eating a snack when he suddenly shouted me over. I went over and
asked what it was he wanted fully expecting it would be another satsuma as he
eats them like sweeties at the moment. What he actually wanted was to show me a
house sparrow that was perched on the feeder outside the window. I praised him
for his good observation skills and we
watched it until it flew away, whereupon he decided another satsuma might be
quite a good idea!
What am I trying to
establish from these reflections/musings?
To be honest I am not entirely sure myself. At times I worry
overexposure to the above activities will result in our son and daughter reaching
a saturation point whereby they no longer want to inhale the great outdoors,
observe the wildlife or search for natural treasures, too much of a good thing
as they say. At other times I become concerned we are not doing enough to
nurture the seed inside them that will grow and flower into a life-long passion
and understanding of the natural world. As parents we cannot dictate to our
children what they will be as adults but we can’t help having hopes for them. One
of my hopes is that both our son and daughter will always take pleasure from
the world around them and, more importantly, will always care and advocate for
the other animals and plants that share this fragile earth with us. Are we
raising them in a way that will give them ample opportunity to do this?
Going back to the conversations that began this piece of
writing, the woman whose son thanked her for his nature based childhood works
for a wildlife organisation and as a result her children had more exposure than
most to the outdoors. There was probably a period in between where other
teenage pursuits took precedence, but
twenty years on the importance of these early experiences has been
appreciated and acknowledged. The “Nah they won’t” person is a cynical social
worker worn down by the strains of an often demanding and unappreciated job (I
can say this with little irony being one myself). However, he is also Hedgie’s rescuer
and someone who takes great joy in all animals, so underneath that cynicism is
someone who does understand the importance of having a connection with nature
and helping it along when required. Two different experiences of life but the
same conclusions reached.
My conclusion? All these things we do as a family we do
because we enjoy them, and while our son and daughter still want to enjoy them
with us I am going to grab every opportunity I can to find that special shell,
spot a hiding squirrel, wade into the freezing North Sea and care for the
wildlife that crosses our path. As for how these experiences will shape who our
children will become, I guess I will just have to sit back and let nature take
its course.
